As an attorney rights are not something unfamiliar to me. In law school we take whole semester long classes on rights, what they are, when they can be exercised, how to exercise them and the fundamentals of protecting them. In criminal law you have the right to remain silent, the right to an attorney, and the right to a trial by a jury of your peers, just to name a few. Come to think of it, even as a doctor in medicine there is a patient bill of rights, and a right to privacy.

As Americans we have rights. Our country was even started on a foundational “Bill of Rights.” The news is replete with demonstrations of how people fight to exercise their rights and keep them protected. Black rights, immigrant rights, womens’ rights, LGBT rights, animal rights. Everyone has rights right?

Even the Bible provides examples of of “rights.”

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become the children of God. (John 1:12)

Blessed are those who wash their robes so that they may have the right to the tree of life. (Revelation 22:14)

Recently I have struggled with my “rights.” I’ve felt I have certain rights the problem is I’ve also felt convicted that even though I have the “right” to do something, that doesn’t make it the right thing to do. Have you ever felt that way? As I’ve struggled with this principle I’ve turned to God’s word to see what insight I can glean on how to reconcile my rights with the right thing to do. As I came upon this Psalm, David writes,

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!  I look to you for protection.
I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by.
I cry out to God Most High to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.

He will send help from heaven to rescue me, disgracing those who hound me.
My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness.  (Psalm 57:1-3)

To fully understand the depth of David’s prayer here you have to dig in to the context in which it was written. David has proven to be the big man on campus and has upstaged King Saul. He has killed Goliath and overtaken the Philistines and the crowd chants,

Saul has slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands. (1 Samuel 18:7)

At the time David writes this Psalm, David has already had several threats on his life at the behest of King Saul.

Saul requested other people kill David,

Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. (1 Samuel 19:1)

When that didn’t work, Saul tried to take matters into his own hands. David is sitting in service to the King, playing his harp, trying to keep King Saul entertained and Saul decides he’s going to try and chuck a spear at David.

While David was playing the harp, Saul tried to pin him to the wall with his spear but David eluded him as Saul drove the spear into the wall. That night David made good on his escape. (1 Samuel 19: 9-10)

When that didn’t work Saul sent some men over to David’s house to wait for him and have him killed there. David’s wife had to devise an elaborate rouse to help David escape.

Saul sent men to David’s house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, “If you don’t run for your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed.”  So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. Then Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed, covering it with a garment and putting some goats’ hair at the head.

When Saul sent the men to capture David, Michal said, “He is ill.”

Then Saul sent the men back to see David and told them, “Bring him up to me in his bed so that I may kill him.”  But when the men entered, there was the idol in the bed, and at the head was some goats’ hair. (1 Samuel 19: 11-16)

So David continues on the run. In the interim he has another run-in with the Philistines and once again kicks their butts. But Saul’s pursuit of David continues and David is forced to keep moving from place to place and eventually ends up in the dessert and,

Day after day Saul searched for him but God did not give David into his hands. (1 Samuel 24:14)

As the pursuit continues Saul gets closer and closer but never gets to David. Saul gets distracted from the pursuit because those pesky Philistines have come back to raid the land and Saul goes to fight them off. But, not to be deterred from his ultimate goal of finding David and killing him, the pursuit continues and takes Saul to the entrance of a cave just beyond some sheep pens. Little does he know that David is inside this cave where he pens Psalm 57 and says,

I cry out to God Most High to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. (Psalm 57: 2)

Purpose

What better time to reflect on your purpose in life than when someone is out to kill you and is coming closer and closer right? As it turns out though David’s purpose was given to him by God early on in his life when he was just a shepherd boy. His purpose was to become King of Israel.

Then the Lord said, “Rise and anoint him (David); he is the one.” So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came upon David in power. (1 Samuel 16:12-13)

So David well aware of what his purpose is supposed to be goes out and fights some battles, plays some harp, wines and dines with the current king, and now finds himself running for his life. He finds himself in a cave hiding himself from an enemy who was once very much on his side and now wants him dead. He is seemingly about as far away from his purpose as he could possibly get.

I don’t know about you but if I’m David at this point I’m thinking to myself, “Wait a minute! I’m supposed to be King! God said so himself! What the heck am I doing in a cave running for my life? What did I miss here? Did I mistake my purpose?” And yet even in the midst of what I can imagine must be fear, confusion, sadness, and maybe even anger; as David cries out for the Lord’s mercy and protection he still declares with faith,

I cry out to God Most High to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. (Psalm 57: 2)

David believes despite his current circumstance that God will full his purpose in his life.

Your purpose is guaranteed by God’s promise

Promise

So David finds himself in a cave declaring his faith that God will fulfill his purpose and Saul shows up at the entrance to the cave. When Saul gets there he decides that it’s time for a potty break, after all trying to kill someone is hard work!

He (Saul) came to the sheep pens along the way, a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. (1 Samuel 24:3)

[Hey, when a man’s got to go he’s got to go, but really? It’s the first time I can remember recognizing the Bible was telling us someone had to go potty.]

So here is Saul on his potty break, alone (or at least so he thinks), and David and his men spot him. Immediately David’s men think to themselves, this is the moment we have been waiting for. This is the moment that God has been planning for all along.

This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” (1 Samuel 24:4)

As I thought about that, it seems like a perfectly reasonable argument to make. David was told he would be king, he had been waiting for when that time would come, he had been running for his life, and now the opportunity is right in front of him to seize the day, kill the king in secret, and ascend to the throne. I can picture the headline now, “King Saul dies in fatal toileting accident, news at 11.” But as I looked at that verse again I realized that what initially sounded like exactly what God had intended for David was actually only David’s mens’ self-serving interpretation of God’s promise.

I will give your enemy into your hands: So far so good, God did give many an enemy into David’s hands and it was clear that God’s plan was for David to be king.

…for you to deal with as you wish: HOOOOOLD ON! I can’t find anywhere where God told David to do with anyone as he wished.

It’s pretty clear that David and his men were running for their lives and at risk of dying. So it’s no surprise that David’s men would interpret the situation in front of them as the opportunity of a life time to save their own lives. But in doing so they read into God’s promise something that was never there.

I think many of us probably are guilty of something similar in our own lives, I know I am. How many times do we allow ourselves or others to convince us that what God has promised us includes something that it was never intended to include because it works out to our benefit or for our happiness. How many times have we found ourselves in situations where we have the opportunity to make a decision that will benefit us and it looks like something that would lead to something that God would have for us but we take it a step further than God ever intended. But the reality is,

God’s promise must be guided by his process

Process

David finds himself with the opportunity to start fulfilling his purpose and get what God had promised him. This is the moment where David has to decide if he really believes in the promise of God or if he is going to take matters into his own hands. In a moment of instant gratification, he can kill Saul and move on with his life which as king, will seemingly be much better than it has ever been before. In one moment, he can stop running, he can stop hiding, he can stop waiting. So what does he do?

Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. (1 Samuel 24:4)

 He doesn’t kill Saul but he cuts a corner of his robe. Why does he do this? A part of me wants to think he did it to put Saul on notice that he had the ability to kill him. The Bible shows us though that David confronts Saul to show him that he is not out to harm him.

Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, ‘My Lord the king!’ When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground….This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lift my hand against my master, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ (1 Samuel 24:8,10)

Sounds noble. But then why do we read a couple verses earlier, after David had just finished cutting Saul’s robe,

Afterward David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. (2 Samuel 24:5)

David realizes he has “cut a corner,” where he shouldn’t have.

In that moment David realizes that taking matters into his own hand is NOT the way that God intended to fulfill his promise,

He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.’ With these words David rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. (1 Samuel 24:6-7)

Sometimes, even though we don’t go in for the ‘kill’ to try and get to God’s purpose and realize his promise, we cut a corner. Maybe it’s because we think we’ll get there faster. Maybe it’s because we want to put God or others on notice that if it doesn’t come in our time we can get there on our own. But what David realized was,

Fulfilling God’s purpose and realizing his promise requires honoring the process

Throughout life we are constantly engaged in activities which are leading us in the direction of realizing God’s purpose and the fulfillment of his promises. We get there by making individual choices which are guided by honorable goals. We do so in pursuit of happiness and fulfillment. As we engage in that process we are faced with many opportunities to make choices which are seemingly right, “within our rights,”  or at least not wrong. But our right to do something, doesn’t always mean it is the right thing to do.

Every good opportunity is not necessarily a God opportunity

As David stood in the cave, “conscience-stricken” while holding a piece of the King’s robe,  I have to wonder if in that moment he thought to himself, ‘Wait a minute, why do I want to have just a piece of this robe when God is working towards giving me the whole thing.’

David could have claimed he was doing the right thing, but still have done it the wrong way. As we walk through life striving for happiness and fulfillment may we avoid cutting corners to only get pieces of what God has for us.

God’s will, God’s way

Exchange your rights for his riches

 The one who has called you is faithful, and he will do it.  (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

 (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that this post finds you all keeping your New Year’s resolutions, and that you and your family are happy and healthy. I hope you are well on your way to much success in 2018 and that this year will be bigger, better, and greater than the last.

Reflect

The scripture at the beginning of this post is the scripture that I have started off the year with every year for the greater part of the last decade. It is a passage that allows me to reflect on the fact that God has an eternal plan for each of us and there is a perfect time and place for everything in his plan.

Ecclesiastes is generally thought to have been written by Solomon in the later years of his life. Solomon had experienced all that life had to offer: wealth, power, honor, fame, and sexuality (if you haven’t ever read Song of Solomon, it’s a powerful read). By all modern day standards he had found the “happiness,” which we all seek to achieve. But interestingly enough he starts off the story of Ecclesiastes by proclaiming:

“ ‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!.’ ” (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

Chapter 3 begins with a reflection about there being a time and a place for everything in God’s plan. This is probably one of the central points that Solomon tries to make throughout the book. He seeks to teach us through his experiences at the height of success and the depth of failure, that the only true way to life’s fulfillment is to reflect on God’s plan and to live life in a way that brings honor to him.

These first verses have served at the beginning of each year to remind me that in spite of the mountains and the valleys, the joys and the heartaches of life, I can and will fulfill God’s plan in his timing if I am able to trust him with control of the circumstances of my life. He has reserved a season just for that too!

Easy, right? I used to think it was anyway!

The picture that serves as the banner of this post is our “family Christmas picture” for 2018. I had the opportunity to celebrate a week of this Christmas season with my family in South Carolina. What a treasure to have both of my grandparents on my mom’s side alive and to be able to share in this special season with them and the rest of the family. The picture looks beautiful and complete right? I sure do have a good looking family if I say so myself! (Don’t ask what a task it was to try and color coordinate that all!) But this is not at all what I expected my family Christmas picture to look like in 2017, with half of “my family” missing. For me this year’s holiday season was a varied mixture of highs and lows with moments of happiness and periods of profound sadness. It was a season that caused this period of reflection going into 2018 to be much different than the ones that preceded it. But as I reflect, I take refuge in the fact that as the scripture demonstrates, it is just a season! Moreover, even though it is not being carried out as I feel God would have intended, it is a season in which his purpose and his intention can still be fulfilled. Of course my natural first question is how? But the bigger questions is, will I trust him?

Seasons come and seasons go, some seem short and some seem long. I was reminded of this on two occasions over the last month. When I got to South Carolina for the family Christmas extravaganza the temperature outside was about 70 degrees. By the time I left a week later the temperature was in the 20s. Just this past week I went down to Champaign to see the Illinois basketball team lose a heartbreaker (#wesuck) and when I went in to the game the temperature was in the 60s and by the time I left the game the temperature was in the teens. In just a short period I had cycled through what seemed like all of the seasons. The question is not whether or not the seasons will come and go but whether or not we will have the tools, whether we will be prepared, whether we will have the courage to weather the storm. Luckily, (because admittedly I am a pack rat), I had an outfit for every season in each of these situations. Even though it wasn’t always comfortable I was able to make it through.

The Pause

As I sat and talked with my grandpa one night, he proceeded to share one of his pearls of wisdom. (Written in my best Norwegian accent….) You know Kurtis, we ought not to think about our problems too much. If we dwell on them too much it makes it worse. If it’s not in our control we can’t do anything about it anyway. We just need to keep praising the Lord and leave it in his hands. He knows the answer.

Ordinarily I take my grandpa’s advice at face value but in this moment, as I was moving through this period of reflection from 2017 into 2018 I had to pause. I had to deal with my doubt that this was wholly true because at some level I felt like that’s what got me into this season in the first place.

Those who know me would likely tell you that I am a pretty optimistic, even keel person (except for maybe when it comes to sports I can get pretty fired up). I try to look for the good in people, the silver lining in the situation. As my wife would say, “always rainbows and butterflies.” I’ve tended to have an strong “trust factor” that no matter what was happening God was in control and he would see through to another season in his plan and his time. I would try to focus on that and move through the storm.

To some looking in from the outside, I feel like maybe at times this has looked like ignorance of the situation in front of me or minimization of its significance. Perhaps it looks like a lack of understanding or failure to look outside myself.  Whatever it looks like, it feels like the very attitude that I thought was supposed to be a good thing has caused me even more pain and suffering than to lament my troubles at the outset.

The Expectation

For whatever reason, this New Year rather than stopping at verse 8 I continued on through the rest of Ecclesiastes chapter 3. As it turns out there is more to the story.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it….

So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them? (Ecclesiastes 3:11-14, 22)

 There is a season for everything. There is a time for reflection. But moving beyond that reflection is to live in the expectation that God does really have a plan for our lives. Even though we cannot always imagine in our minds what God has planned from beginning to end he has set “eternity” in our hearts and given us each a desire to seek after lasting value and enjoyment in life. He has given us an innate sense of expectation that comes with the changing seasons of our lives. However, the fulfillment of that value and expectation is only truly found in submitting ourselves to him. It is living in that expectation that we are enabled to “enjoy our work.”

The problem is we often have a myopic view and we focus on the wrong thing. We tend to focus on the problem and not the process. We see today while he is working on forever. We are focusing on the pretty wrapping paper, he is focusing on the gift inside. Your healing, your heartache, your loss, your pain, whatever your trial, he is working to make it beautiful in his time. But it’s the hard work of moving past the point of reflection to the point of expectation that we work on breakthrough. I am certainly not there yet, but I think that’s the key.

Grandpa Revisited

As I reflected on this insight I read through Paul’s exhortation to the Thessalonians:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Then it hit me. Grandpa was right! There is one word that makes all the difference. The verse says to give thanks “in” all circumstances, not “for” all circumstances. I can face the reality that my circumstance is difficult and that I wish it were different but still give thanks and live in the expectation that God can make it different and he will see me through. I’m not giving praise for my trouble but in spite of it because he is my refuge IN time of trouble not FROM time of trouble.

I’m still learning this, and I definitely don’t have it down yet. But, I am thankful for the opportunity I have to be able to fail and to still be given grace to work on it again.

The Masterpiece

As I was driving along and listening to music while putting together my thoughts for this post I heard a song that sums up my reflection of 2017 and my expectation going into 2018.

Masterpiece- Danny Gokey

Heartbreaks a bittersweet sound
Know it well
It’s ringing in my ears
And I can’t understand
Why I’m not fixed by now
Begged and I pleaded
Take this pain but I’m still bleeding

Heart trusts you for certain
Head says it’s not working
I’m stuck here still hurting
But you tell me

You’re making a masterpiece
You shaping the soul in me
You’re moving where I can’t see
And all I am is in your hands
You’re taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see you’re making a masterpiece

Guess I’m your canvas
Beautiful black and blue
Painted in mercy’s hue
I don’t see past this
But you see me now
Who I’ll be then
There at the end
Standing there as

Your Masterpiece

As we move further in to 2018 will you move through your reflection and into expectation with me?

What was old he can make new. What is ahead he can see you through. What is weak he can make strong. What has slowed he can move along. What seems like its forever, is really just a season, in your every endeavor remember, God has a reason.

He’s making you his masterpiece.

Reflect and Expect that God’s intention is to fulfill his purpose for your life if you will have the courage to weather the storms. I’m not in it alone and neither are you.

Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.

(Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG)

Fear Factor: Christmas Edition

What do these three things have in common?

These are all things that I have been afraid of. So where do these fears come from? Looking at research on the topic it seems to be a combination of both genetics and experience, with perhaps some more weight placed on experience. There are many different types of fear, in fact there are whole websites dedicated to listing different types of fears (www.fearof.net; www.phobialist.com) just to name a couple.

I can’t really tell you where my fears of snakes or being suspended from heights came from. They might come from my genetics although no one in my family seems to be afraid of the same things. I could maybe relate my fear of failure to my career choices. As I look through my medical, legal, and business training, failure is not exactly rewarded. In fact, as an emergency medicine doctor, if I fail someone might die. So I guess that that may have something to do with my fear of failure. Regardless of what the reasons for my fears, it doesn’t look like I am alone. Ophidophobia (fear of snakes), acrophobia (fear of heights), and atychiphobia (fear of failure), are among the top 15 phobias in the world.

While the cause of the fear might not be known, it is more the effect of the fear on your life that can have a significant impact on the choices that you make. Some fears like turophobia (fear of cheese [this would be awful!]), or syndetiraphobia (fear of paperclips), may not have such a profound impact. But, fears like anthropophobia (fear of people) or cibophobia (fear of food) would likely have a profound impact on your life.

I have found that life experiences and struggles might enhance your fears.  On a recent trip to Park City Utah I went to visit the Olympic Park. I had intended to go on this downhill on an inner tube and I got on the ski lift to go up the hill. I have skied before and been on several ski lifts before and never had a problem, but all of the sudden I had this sense of fear as I rode up the hill. As a result, I never did make it down the mountain on the inner tube. In times of struggle and hardship it is very easy to begin question even the simplest choices like McDonalds or Burger King, the red sweater or the blue sweater. None of these things is necessarily going to have a large impact on your life but because of the stressors you’ve faced you begin to “fear” the decision you are going to make as a worse choice.

The Bible speaks a lot about fear. In fact, the most repeated command in the Bible is some form of “Do not be afraid.” This phrase alone is repeated more than 70 times not including its several variations like “fear not” or “have no fear.” So why is fear so pervasive?

 

Defining Moments

After my last post I continued to study the passages of scripture I shared because I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more there that I needed to write about. In the post, I talked about being in the “middle seat” and what it meant. As I continued to study the three biblical examples that I gave about being in the “middle seat,” one thing stood out to me. Surrounding each of these three situations there was an element of fear.

 

In the story of Abraham, who would become the father of many nations, God speaks to him and says: “Do not be afraid Abram, I am your shield, your very great reward.” (Genesis 15:1). In the story of Moses who would deliver the Israelites from the Egyptians, Moses, “hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.” (Exodus 3:6) Later on along the same journey, as Moses is headed into battle, God has to remind Moses, “Do not be afraid of him, for I have handed him over to you, with his whole army and his land. (Numbers 21:34) And even though command of “Do not be afraid” was never expressed to Joseph, I have to imagine that while he was sitting in jail for a crime he didn’t commit and he was initially forgotten by the cupbearer who was supposed to put in a good word for him, there had to be a sense of fear that he might never see the outside of the prison walls.

Each of these men was faced with fear in the face of life changing, history changing moments. Throughout the Bible we can find other examples of how fear precedes a turning point. The bottom line is:

FEAR OFTEN PRECEDES DEFINING MOMENTS

 

The Christmas Story

Understanding that fear often precedes defining moments, it is not a wonder that one of the biggest “defining moments” in history, the birth of Jesus, was surrounded with fear and the reminder, “do not be afraid.”

Starting even before the time that Jesus birth was foretold, the element of fear was already present. Zechariah and Elizabeth (Mary’s cousin), were advanced in age and had no children because Elizabeth was barren. One day an angel appeared to Zechariah and said:

“Do not be afraid, Zechariah, your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son and you are to give him the name John.” (Luke 1:13)

This John was John the Baptist who would, “Go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” (Luke 1:17)

As the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary to begin what would be the foretelling of Jesus’ birth, Mary was, “greatly troubled at his words, and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.’” (Luke 1:29-31)

When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant despite not having had a sexual relationship with her, he made plans to divorce her quietly in order to not subject her to public disgrace. But yet again an angel of the Lord appeared to say to him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 1:20)

As the angel of the Lord appears to the shepherds to announce the birth of Jesus the shepherds were “terrified,” and the angel had to say to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.” (Luke 2:10)

Throughout the Christmas story we see the “fear factor” show up at major decision points in the story line followed by the reminder, “do not be afraid.”  Giving in to fear at any one of these decision points could have altered the course of history and the defining moment of the birth of Christ. In spite of all of this, fear did not win.

 

Fear Factor

So what is it that we are afraid of? As I look at the situations in my life and the situations that I have seen others deal with, there are three general fears that can affect us in profound ways. These three fears draw distinct parallels to the Christmas story.

Fear of Failure

This fear looks internally, and is a fear about who we are and what we are capable of. Don’t believe me? Examine your own life. I’m sure that most all of us can think of something in our lives that we are not doing right now, that we would definitely do if we knew that there was not a possibility of failure.

Zechariah and Mary both struggled with the fear of failure. Zechariah asks, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.” (Luke 1:18) In and of his own strength he did not see how he could possibly succeed in what the angel of the Lord was telling him. Mary questioned the angel saying, “How will this be…since I am a virgin.” (Luke 1:34) She too did not see how she could be successful in this endeavor.

Fear of Judgement

This fear looks externally and at its core really becomes a fear of others. Maybe its friends, maybe its family, maybe its coworkers; but how often have you seen those around you make life decisions based on the fear of what others might say instead of what they know to be right or true?

Joseph had to overcome this very fear. He was faced with the fear of what others might say if he married a woman who was known to be pregnant with child. He could choose to exercise his right to divorce Mary quietly and ignore the will of the Lord.  He could also choose to stay with her and face the consequences of what others might say of his wife as a potential adulteress or the wrongful accusations that might have been made against him knowing that he had not had a sexual relationship with her.

Fear of the Supernatural

 This fear looks upward and is really a fear of God. Throughout the Christmas story, every time an angel of the Lord appeared, the person to whom the angel is speaking to must be reminded, “Do not be afraid.” Now granted, it’s not every day that an angel of the Lord appears to someone, so I might be afraid too! But I can think of times where I have been afraid to listen for God’s voice in my life because I was afraid of what he was going to say or that the result of what he was asking me to do would be that I would end up somewhere I wouldn’t want to be.

So what is the answer to overcoming fear?

 

Christmas Story Revisited

Faith Factor

I believe that the answers to help us start overcoming fear are ALSO found in the Christmas story. After the angel told Mary, “Do not be afraid” and Mary expressed doubt over how she could possibly be with child, the angel reminded her of exactly how it would be done.

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…for NOTHING is impossible with God” (Luke 1:35)

The first thing to remember is we don’t do it in our own strength, and NOTHING is impossible with God.

Serve God

“I am the Lord’s servant.” (Luke 1:38)

This was Mary’s response to the angel. Mary acknowledged that there was a God whose ways and thoughts were higher than hers. She made a decision to follow God and serve him.

Show Faith

“May it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38)

Mary’s next response was to show faith and affirm that she trusted what God had said.

Surround yourself with others who will speak positive into your life

“At the time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth…Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: ‘Blessed are you among women and blessed is the child you will bear!…Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” (Luke 1:39-42,45)

The Bible doesn’t tell us why Mary ran straight to Elizabeth but my guess is that she knew that Elizabeth was pregnant and had experienced some of the things that she would go through. She knew that Elizabeth would be a strong support to her. She could have easily gone to others who might have ridiculed her for being too young, scorned her for being pregnant before being married, discouraged her from being with Joseph by saying he’s not the one and speaking ill of him and their coming union. But instead she went to the person who would not only encourage her but affirm the call of God on her life and  encourage her to follow on in her commitment. Fear is easier to overcome when others come alongside you.

Sing songs of praise

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will called me blessed.” (Luke 1:46)

Mary’s song, the Magnificat is one of the eight oldest Christian hymns and is frequently recited throughout Christian services. It is one of the most beautiful expressions of praise to God for who he is, what he has done, and what he is going to do through her. Ok, so maybe you shouldn’t really be singing out loud anywhere other than in your shower, but we are reminded to give praise to God for who he is and what he is doing even in the midst of our fears. Much like the Magnificat, these moments of praise can remind us of God’s strength, his mercy, and his love.

Start moving

“He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.” (Luke 1:73)

Mary and Joseph couldn’t just stay where they were to fulfill the mission God had given them. It required action. Even in the midst of possible fears, they had to keep moving in the direction God had given them. Often times while fear attempts to stifle our action, action builds courage and confidence.

Now this is a remarkable story about a woman chosen by God who chose faith over fear and bore the son of God whose birth we celebrate on this day. But I thought it might be important to remind you of one other fact that to me, makes the story even more remarkable. Based on custom and practice at this time in Biblical history, Mary was probably only 12 or 13 years old at the time the angel appeared to her and told her she was with child. I don’t have a teenage daughter but for those of you that do, I think it’s probably safe to say that if an angel appeared to her with the news of this angel, I don’t think the response would be, “yep, cool dude, no problem, I got this!”

With that in mind I’m inspired that if God can do this through a young teenage girl he can do anything through me. I’m reminded that I don’t have to overcome those fears alone, and neither do you. Just as the Christmas story demonstrates the supernatural victory of faith over fear, will you allow God to add his super to your natural today?

I want to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas but perhaps I should also wish you a very MARY Christmas.

“Fear knocked at the door, faith answered, and lo, no one was there.” –Anonymous

Photo Credit: Dallas Star Tribune

Air travel is a frequent part of my life routine right now. As I was on a plane headed home the other day I decided to take a trip to the bathroom. On my way to the back of the plane I noticed that the plane wasn’t all that full and there weren’t many people sitting in the middle seats on the plane. After all, who really likes to sit in the middle seat? I sure don’t, and I don’t know many people that do. If you fly Southwest Airlines at all, you might know that the running joke is that “Group C” stands for “Center” seat, because by the time you get to board that’s all that’s left. In fact, you can even pay extra to move your boarding position up, lowering your chances of being in the C group and getting a center seat!

When you are in the middle seat you don’t have the benefit of the window to see where you are going and you don’t have the comfort of the aisle to be able to easily escape from where you are to where you came from. You have to fight over arm rests with two people you might not even know and you have the potential to have to be “climbed” over and climb over someone else to get anywhere should you need to during the flight. I thought to myself, the middle seat on a plane is a lot like being in the middle of a situation in life. It’s not always very comfortable, and usually not desirable.

Right now I feel stuck in the “middle seat,” in life. A little over three years ago, I found out that I was unable to help conceive children. It had always been a dream of mine to have a family and have children with my wife. Despite medicine’s great advances and modern technology at that point it just wasn’t going to be a possibility. For years I’ve struggled with insecurity, shame, sadness, feelings of being inadequate as a mate; unable to provide the one thing I knew my wife wanted more than anything. I struggled with questions of sperm donation and adoption and really feeling like these things would somehow make my “fatherhood” less, but more importantly make me feel less a part of the process. I had never been used to someone telling me I couldn’t do something and not being able to prove them wrong. I’ve prayed and prayed for a miracle. It hasn’t come. I’m in the middle of something, something that will require a miracle to fix.

In the summer of 2016 we moved back to Illinois after my residency and fellowship. 5 hard years of time consuming, life enveloping, medical training for me. It was a time that taught me how to be the best doctor I could for my patients, but at the same time, a time that took away a part of who I was before it started. Finally, we moved and it was time to reclaim that part of life and move out of the middle seat into a new horizon and season with my wife. Nine months ago my wife walked out the door and hasn’t returned. She is on the path to divorce. I’ve struggled with feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, loneliness, anger, hurt, and sadness. I’m in the middle of something, and short of a miracle my marriage to the love of my life will be no more.

During the beginning of our separation time I was in the preparation stages for a major exam in my professional career. A couple of months into that time, I sat for that exam. You can only imagine how it went. Yes, I failed! I struggled with feelings of failure and questioned my professional calling. I’m in the middle of something. I will have the opportunity to take the exam again but not without the added costs of repeating the preparation process, time, and money.

A couple of months after that, 5 minutes before the monthly staff meeting that I was set to run after I had just worked an overnight shift, I was told by my company that it was giving up the contract at our hospital in 90 days. As medical director, not only would I be out of a job there, but I now had to go in and tell all of my other doctors that they would be as well. I struggled with feelings of anger, uncertainty, doubt, and fear. I’m in the middle of something. I’m thankful I have another job now but it’s not what I expected to be doing at this point in my life.

I’m about to turn 36 next month. I’m headed towards the middle of my life. I gained about 15 pounds through this process and am not able to take it off as quickly as I’m used to. Of course where do I carry this weight? In the middle! I’m reminded of a time when I was much more overweight and didn’t feel good about my self-image. I’m in the middle of something. I’m not where I thought I’d be and I struggle. God on the other hand is not surprised by our middle seat or the struggles that are associated with it. He told us they would be there:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

So what exactly is so good about the middle seat? Is there anything good about the middle seat? Why is it that God allows us to be in the middle seat, sometimes for what seems like an eternity!

As I’m sitting here writing this and contemplating this question, I am also enjoying a very yummy double stuffed Oreo. My favorite part of the Oreo is the icing. Its why I am eating a double stuffed Oreo. because I get twice the icing and only have two of the outside cookie shells instead of four! But where is this yummy icing? Yes, it’s in the middle! Proof that sometimes there is something good about the middle:

THE MIRACLE IS IN THE MIDDLE

This year’s Bible reading project was a trip through the Old Testament. Nothing, says December like a trip through the minor prophets! As I’ve taken the journey this year I’m reminded of several stories where people were stuck in the middle and had to go through a process before they saw their miracle or fulfilled their ultimate purpose.

Abraham, at the age of 75 and with no children, was told by God to pick up and move where God was sending him because he was going to be the father of many nations. (I can’t help but starting to sing Father Abraham had many sons and many sons had father Abraham):

“The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people, and your father’s household and go to the land where I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:1-3

Through this process Abraham had major doubts about this process. Heck, if I were over 75 years old and my wife was equally old I’d have some doubts too!

“O Sovereign Lord what can you give me since I remain childless…You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.” Genesis 15: 2-3

 In fact, Abraham and his wife Sarai had so many doubts that they thought they’d try to help God along in his own plan and Sarai suggested that Abraham sleep with her maidservant and that would be the way to fulfill God’s plan for them to build a family.

“The Lord has kept me from having children. Go sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Genesis 16:2

But when Abraham was 99 years old, an angel of the Lord appeared to Sarai to start what would be the fulfillment of his promise:

“The angel of the Lord also said to her: “You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael for the Lord has heard of your misery.” Genesis 16:11

The miracle came, the promise was fulfilled, but it was only after Abraham and Sarai had been through something, after they had been in the middle seat for 25 years.

Joseph began having Godly visions at the age of 17. Shortly thereafter he was sold in to slavery by his jealous brothers (Daniel, Kirstin, and Derik don’t think about getting any ideas!). Thereafter he was thrown into jail for refusing to sleep with Potiphar’s wife. He was even forgotten by the cupbearer who promised to put in a good word for him. But God was with Him:

“But while Joseph was there in the prison, the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.” Genesis 39:20-21

It wasn’t until 13 years later that Joseph was then put in charge of the whole land of Egypt and he was able to tell his brothers:

“Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.” Genesis 45:5

It was only after Joseph had been through something, after he sat in the middle seat that he was able to save his people and his family and realize the miracle was in the middle.

Moses had a call on his life from the very beginning of his life. His name literally means “to pull out/or draw out” symbolic of both his literal pulling out of the water by Pharaoh’s daughter and his larger role of delivering the Israelites out of the hand of the Egyptians. But even though he would eventually save the Israelites he had to go through something. He had to sit in the middle seat before he got there. It was only after he decided to take matters into his own hands and kill an Egyptian, only after Pharaoh attempted to kill him, only after he had fled to another land, where in the middle of a desert God spoke to Him in a burning bush and said:

I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain. (Exodus 3:22)

It was only after Moses had been through something and sat in the middle seat for about 40 years before God revealed himself to Moses and promised that the very place that he was sitting in his “middle seat” would be the same mountain on which he would later worship God for deliverance.

Three demonstrations of God’s miracle in the middle and I’ve only touched on parts of Genesis and Exodus. So it seems like maybe there is a purpose for the middle. But what is it? I think it’s this:

The middle seat makes us uncomfortable enough with our own strength that we realize our need for reliance on God’s principles and power, and forces us to focus our attention on his presence and his promise. It’s when you move from the middle seat to the window seat and you’re able to see the miracle and journey ahead clearly, that there is no question to you or anyone else that it was truly the hand of God. It is in this way that you become a living testimony and God receives the glory for all he has done through you.

While I was thankful not to have to sit in the middle seat on the plane, here I am in the middle seat of many of my life’s toughest situations. They are still not easy and I am still going to struggle with the emotions and the questions. But at least I take hope in the fact that the miracle is often truly in the middle seat. I can’t wait to look out that window and see God’s provision.

How about you? What seat are you in today? Are you in the aisle seat, not committing to anything just in case you feel the need to run off the plane and be the first one out? I encourage you to seek out where it may be time to move into the middle seat and be challenged. The aisle may get you out first but you are still going to have to wait for your baggage like everyone else. On this plane of life, we all come with baggage. There is no avoiding it! Don’t run away too fast from the things God has for you just because you don’t think you are going to be very comfortable getting there. Are you in the middle seat like me? It’s a really tough and often sad a lonely place to be, I know! Be encouraged that God does have a plan. I pray that he will give your strength in the waiting and hope in the promise he has for you. I pray for you “middle seaters” every day even as I pray for myself. Are you in the window seat? Have you seen God’s miracle and his promises to you fulfilled? That’s awesome! I rejoice with you!  Would you take the time to be an encouragement to the two people sitting next to you?

No matter what seat people are sitting on in the plane there are two things that they have in common; there are other people on the plane sitting in the same type of seat as them, and everyone trusts that the pilot is going to get them where they are going. Sometimes it just takes some extra strength and patience to sit in the middle seat. Will you trust God with me today?

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” Philippians 1:6

As I sit here late at night, it’s one of those nights where the struggles of life are so real and weigh heavy on my heart. I have so much to be thankful for and yet at the same time there are big holes in my heart from some the biggest battles in key areas of my life. Since I was a little kid I have always thought of myself as having a strong faith in God, and through many of life’s struggles I have professed “God is good,” “God is faithful,” “God has got this under control.” But in this moment and others like it along the last 9 months I find myself asking, “God are you there?, are you really the one?” What do you do? Where do you turn when life’s circumstances have led you to the point where you start to question the very foundation of what you have always believed to be true? As I sat here tonight and found myself in one of those moments where I find I have more questions than answers, more doubt than I seemingly have strength for, I read the following:

“When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” Matthew 11:2-3

After I read that I thought to myself, wait a minute?! John is doubting if Jesus is really who he says he is?! This is the guy who several verses later (v10) Jesus reminds us that it was foretold earlier in the old testament:

“See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me.”Malachi 3:1

This is the guy who Jesus comes to to be baptized. The guy who said, “Look the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29) and “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. I would not have known him, except that the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, “the man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is he who will baptize with the Holy Spirit. I have seen and I testify that this is the Son of God.” (John 1:32)

A man who was closest to God, who had a literal face to face encounter and experience with the almighty, because of His current situation was questioning that reality.

My first thought was, wow I guess I shouldn’t feel that bad! Even someone with John’s first-hand experience had doubts! Then I remembered, John was human, just like me…..and just like you. As a result even in the face of the greatest “God” experiences, the trials of life can cause the biggest doubts. So where’s the help?

After hearing John’s question Jesus could have run back to the prison and answered him face to face. Or, he could have sent him some sort of sign or a miracle. But he didn’t. So what did he do? He used the experiences of people, ordinary people like you and me. Some of John’s closest friends or “disciples.”:

Jesus replied, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.” Matthew 11:5

I think the same is true today. No matter how strong your faith, no matter how much you believe in God, life’s circumstances sometimes have a cruel way of injecting doubt and fear. In those moments as you search for God, and his divine intervention, it doesn’t always come in the form of some grandiose sign or miracle. Sometimes it comes in hearing about the experiences of others, encouraging words, or the prayers of those around you. I’m learning that more and more each day.

I don’t know why God doesn’t always answer in ways that to me, seem in line with his word. I won’t have the answers for why bad things happen even when you are doing your best. But even in the midst of doubt, I am learning that God does use others to serve as conduits of his love and support to one another. He uses others’ struggles as well as successes to teach and to encourage along the way. In the process we can live life together. It is for that reason it is written,:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

With this blog I hope to find a voice to share my life with you; my struggles, my successes. At the same time I hope you might find insight and encouragement and see that while our struggles are not the same, we all have them and can do life together in the midst of them. I pray that we can both rejoice and weep together. Thank you for joining me on this journey called life.